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I had lunch with a friend recently and the discussion turned to discrimination. She did not realize LGBT people could be refused medical care or service legally in Alabama through a religious exemption law. As a parent, I cringe and the sound of a homophobic remark. I feel nausea at the thought that hearing such condemning remarks is a routine part of my son's life. But the biggest fear comes from states that legalize discriminatory actions toward the LGBT community. My state makes discrimination legal. Please take a minute to watch the video below and learn more. Here are the links to referenced websites as well: http://www.lgbtmap.org/equality-maps/religious_exemption_laws and https://beyondido.org/states/ Carrie's greatest hope? "That one day we will truly be treated equally." This is the third interview in the series of anonymous interviews with people who are LGBTQ and either are youth in Alabama or adults who experienced their youth in Alabama. This is a 37 year-old woman, we will call her Carrie, who grew up in Alabama. She has five children, four biological and one she adopted with her now wife. I will write something about the two of them together, but this is Carrie’s story. She came out fully as a lesbian as an adult. She identified as bisexual earlier. While she is open and a strong LGBT+ supporter and advocate, she still struggles with bigotry and with raising her kids to be loved and accepted in a community that does not always support her life. People are mean and words hurt and raising kids to be strong and resilient and unafraid in a world that may condemn them for the actions of their mothers is no easy feat. Yet Carrie teaches them, love them accepts them and empowers them. Are you someone who will love and accept without condition? Are you someone who will love kids regardless of their circumstances? Show them. Leave a comment after this post to support Carrie and love her kids. Meet Carrie How long have you or did you live in South Alabama? * I’ve lived in Alabama all my life. How do you identify? Lesbian/Gay Are you out? Yes If yes, how out? i.e. just family, just friends, inner circle, loud and proud, activist, etc. LGBT Activist How old were you when you came out? I was bisexual for 14 years before transitioning to the Lesbian lifestyle with my wife of 10 years. My coming out experience was hurtful. Tell me about your coming out experience? My coming out experience was hurtful, I was good at hiding my bisexuality until me & a close friend had an argument and she told people I was gay. My biggest fear of being out is HATE crimes. If you are not out or are partially out, what is holding you back? What is your biggest fear of being out? My biggest fear of being out is HATE crimes. How did you feel when you came out? When I came out I felt misunderstood & unaccepted. What were the determining factors in your decision to come out? What was the process you went through to come to that decision? My biggest factor was overcoming my identity crisis, being tired of living two different lives as a bisexual individual when I loved women more. I couldn't be who the world, family & friends wanted me to be, I needed to be who I really was. How old were you when you knew you were LGBTQ? Describe what you knew and when. I was 5 years old. I dreamed of women, played house with girls and would enjoy it more than the average little girl. I had the biggest crush on a teacher that was a female. Then I knew I was different. Honestly, I ask myself why do I have to identify myself as LGBTQ. Why can't I just be ME? How did you feel about yourself when you identified yourself as LGBTQ? Honestly, I ask myself why do I have to identify myself as LGBTQ. Why can't I just be ME? How were you raised to view the LGBTQ community? I was raised to know that any individual of the LGBTQ community was a sinner and going to hell. What is your perspective of people's view of LGBTQ people in school? My perspective is give them all equal opportunities everywhere, especially school. We shouldn't have to feel less equal than anyone else. In the community? In the community it's sad to say, we, as the community, do more judging towards each other than society. It's very segregated; no one really hangs together. It's either the males or females, the Trans or the Queens & Queers. This is the main reason why I say the titles, LGBTQ, are a really big issue. Alabama is the South & we struggle with racist issues to this day. So accepting a sexuality you don't understand is definitely out the question. In Alabama? Alabama is the South & we struggle with racist issues to this day. So accepting a sexuality you don't understand is definitely out the question. In the country? The Country is known to be the FREE land but we all know that's not true. In church? I'm upset at how many true Christians aren't in the church. The Bible clearly says: Love Thy Neighbor. Yet so many LGBTQ individuals aren't loved. So many Christians judge, yet the Bible clearly says not too. So to me Church is clearly a facility full of individuals who need somewhere to go on Sundays because LOVE isn't amongst our Churches any more. How can you LOVE God but HATE your neighbor? Have you experienced bigotry? When, where, and describe? Yes, all the time, since I am a mother of 5. Individuals always question my sexuality because I have birthed multiple, beautiful children. Saying: you’re not gay, what happened to you to make you this way? Was it from relationship hurt and more? And it's funny because the questions usually come from guys rather than females. If you have experienced bigotry, how did you handle it and how did it make you feel? Depending on the subject. I'm an individual who loves a good debate, but one thing I don’t want to argue about is Spirituality & Christianity because my relationship with God doesn't need proving. Have you experienced depression? Yes Have you experienced suicidal thoughts or attempts? Yes Where do you find support? Free2Be is a new great source and I have mentors within the community who I call my parents. What do you want for your life? Please use details - family, career, etc. I want to further my career writing, spreading awareness & speaking for people who haven't found their voice yet in the LGBTQ community. Do you want to get married? I'm married: Holy Union 2012; Legally 2015 Have kids? I have 5. I birthed 4 & me and my wife adopted 1. Every time I hear a homophobic slur, a piece of me wants to scream. How do you feel when you hear homophobic slurs either toward you or others or see or experience violence based on sexual orientation? Feel free to give examples. Every time I hear a homophobic slur, a piece of me wants to scream. Depending on the place, time & who made the comment I will give my thoughts. Some things are better left unsaid because I would never want to put myself or people around me in danger going back and forth with someone who is homophobic. How did you feel with the Department of Justice announced that LBGTQ was not a protected class under the Civil Rights Act? I felt crushed because once again, we are snatched from our rights as humans. How do you feel when someone offers you support? I feel good about support. How do you feel about the silencing of LGBTQ voices in schools or in the workplace? I'm against it because I have a slogan. I say: " Silence will never be Heard." This is a way to shut up voices that matter. How do you respond to "love the sinner, hate the sin?" If you Hate the sin...you Hate the person. Hate shouldn't be an action of a Christian period. The election truly damaged me as an LGBTQ/BLACK/FEMALE individual in so many aspects. What did the election of Trump mean to you? Did you take a message from that?
The election truly damaged me as an LGBTQ/BLACK/FEMALE individual in so many aspects. What did the election of Doug Jones mean to you? Did you take a message from that? No honestly. What is your biggest fear? Hate Crimes. Dying because of who I choose to love. What is you greatest hope? That one day we will truly be treated equally. I don't feel like I am a part of the community. This is the second interview in the series of anonymous interviews with people who are LGBTQ and either are youth in Alabama or adults who experienced their youth in Alabama. This is young man, we will call him Bennett, grew up in Mobile, Alabama. One of the biggest issues Bennett faces is isolation. His family has rejected him and actually put him through a lot. His church is condemning of him and his mother even told him he needed to “get right with God before he dies.” He doesn’t feel that he is a part of the community because he is isolated by his inability to get transportation. He can’t get to support groups or counseling because he has no car and little money. He uses the bus or Uber to get to school, but he is basically confined to the place he lives with a friend’s mother and school. He has tried to commit suicide three times in his 19 years. He believes he walks this Earth with the potential to be killed for two reasons: first, if he behaves a certain way (hold a guy’s hand, etc.) he could be killed for that. Second, if he walks in the “wrong” (white) neighborhood, he could be killed for that. I believe it is our job as Bennett’s community to provide him a safe space not only to live, but to thrive. Do you offer community to everyone – different from you or not? How can we come together to make sure each and every child feels that he is a valued and loved part of the community? Imagine living a life of isolation and then let me know how you think we can make a change in the comments. How long have you or did you live in South Alabama? * My whole life. How do you identify? * Gay Are you out? * Yes If yes, how out? i.e. just family, just friends, inner circle, loud and proud, activist, etc. If you ask, I will tell you. I am out with some of my family - my mother, father, aunt, brother and sister. It is not worth my time to be out with the rest because I know how they feel. I love them, but we are only so close. It is not worth my time to pour my whole heart out. How old were you when you came out? 13 or 14 I told the first person, a good friend in middle school. I came out at high school at 15 and to my mother at 16. When I was 15 or 16, he tried to show me that I wasn't gay by taking me off alone and trying to entice me to have sex. When I refused, he said, "see, you're not gay." Tell me about your coming out experience? I started telling my friends first and the majority of them were supportive. I was pretty open in high school. I hung out with the misfits, and there was not a ton of homophobia. I did sometimes hear, "he's going to hell." In my junior year I was outed to my family by accident. A girl who was a relative of my mother's best friend overhear someone say I was gay. She then went to my mother and asked if it was true. After that encounter, my mother came to me and asked. I confirmed it. She didn't take it well and was hurt that I didn't tell her - which I understand - but I knew she would want me to go to church and have it removed, which she did. My mother lashed out at me on Facebook. She did not want anyone else to know, yet she posted anti- gay posts on my page. After that, I could not be close to her because she does not support me or LGBT. She even said one time, "I better not catch you saying you're a woman or you'll be out on the streets." I thought I would just get through high school and go to college, but it was hard. At one point I thought I would give up on college and go into the military, but that didn't work out. I am not living with my family now. My mother's boyfriend has issues. When I was 15 or 16, he tried to show me that I wasn't gay by taking me off alone and trying to entice me to have sex. When I refused, he said, "see, you're not gay." My mother is still with him. I tried to run away twice. Once my sister talked me down, and the next time I was successful. My life affected my school performance and my military experience. Two years ago, I gathered my important documents, Social Security card, birth certificate, and left. I have stayed with friends ever since. I tried to go into the military, but they released me due to depression. I am attending community college. I get there by Uber or the bus because I was laid off my job in January. The family I stay with helps me as best they can, and I will never be able to repay them. I am in contact with my mother. I apologized for not being the one to tell her. I regret that. We talk some, but not about me being gay because she doesn't want any part of that. I have lost trust with her. And she does know what her boyfriend did to me and didn't protect me. I have cut ties with a lot of friends and family. I still get hurt and it is a self-protection mechanism If you are not out or are partially out, what is holding you back? What is your biggest fear of being out? It is not a fear. If people know, they know. I am not wasting my time to tell people who aren't supportive. I have cut ties with a lot of friends and family. I still get hurt and it is a self-protection mechanism. How did you feel when you came out? In high school, I wish I were more social about it instead of just being open with friends. This is my skin, this is what I live with. I wish I told my mother myself, maybe she wouldn't have been as hurt, but she would still want me to go through God to fix it. She always told me God was punishing her brother who was gay and died of AIDS. I didn't understand why I needed to hide. I felt like it was like trying to keep the whole ocean inside a tiny balloon. And it was going to pop What were the determining factors in your decision to come out? What was the process you went through to come to that decision? I didn't understand why I needed to hide. I felt like it was like trying to keep the whole ocean inside a tiny balloon. And it was going to pop. How old were you when you knew you were LGBTQ? Describe what you knew and when. I knew in elementary school I was different. I was in middle school when I knew the name for it. How did you feel about yourself when you identified yourself as LGBTQ? I went through many emotions - anger, rejection of it, happiness, confusion. I was just trying to figure out what was going on and what was the next step. How were you raised to view the LGBTQ community? I was taught they were not my community and were something separate. I was raised to think of LGBT as "other." This created an internal conflict. What is your perspective of people's view of LGBTQ people in school? In my high school there was not a lot of stigma. Even though I identified as gay, I didn't force my views on others. I kept to myself, did well in school. I didn't out myself in a situation I didn't have a fight in. I don't feel like I am a part of the community In the community? I don't feel like I am a part of the community. I am limited with transportation and money. I would like to be more of a part of it and see where I am. In Alabama? Alabama is taking its time. Some areas are taking more time than others. Free2Be is a big step for Mobile. You just don't hear about big strides. I have aged out of Free2Be now, but I wish I could have gone more when I was in high school. For a while, my brother would take me, but when my mother found out where he was taking me, she wouldn't let him drive me. In the country? It depends on the area. Certain areas are so warm, and others are the coldest of shoulders. We are still a work in progress. Because of the lack of acceptance in church, I am turned away. In church? Baptist churches still struggle with it. I see a lot of others making progress. I grew up in Baptist church and they are very behind. Because of the lack of acceptance, I am turned away. I did sometimes hear, "he's going to hell. Have you experienced bigotry? When, where, and describe? If I did, I didn't realize it. Bigotry is still new to me. Even if you are rude, I am still nice. I never really understood what the big deal was about skin color until I was in middle school. I never took it to heart. It is harder for LGBT in the black community. If you have experienced bigotry, how did you handle it and how did it make you feel? My mother told me the Pulse night club shooting happened because God was punishing the LGBT community and that should get right with God before I die. Have you experienced depression? Yes Have you experienced suicidal thoughts or attempts? Yes I tried to commit suicide 3 times - 2 in middle school and 1 in high school Where do you find support? Cartoons and friends and family. Cartoons are an escape for me. I love Steve of the Universe. I would really have loved to be more involved in Free2Be. I tried to commit suicide 3 times - 2 in middle school and 1 in high school. Because of my depression, I was let go from the military. I couldn't even get away when I tried. I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and anxiety. I can't afford treatment. I am sad because being seen as gay is bad, not because I am gay. I walk the Earth knowing I could be killed for two reasons. I could get killed for being gay if I don't watch how I talk and act. If I go into the wrong neighborhood, I could get killed for the second reason [being black]. What do you want for your life? Please use details - family, career, etc. I used to think I wanted a family, but now, I just want to know at any point in my life that I am okay. Whether I am with someone or not. Do you want to get married? I feel like I should want to, but I am not sure. I don't view marriage like I used to - thinking it was the ultimate bond. But you don't have to be married to be bonded. I don't put too much weight on it. Have kids? I love the idea of kids, but I have to be sure. I don't want to create a home like I grew up in. If you need to punch be because of my sexual orientation, then why are you around me? How do you feel when you hear homophobic slurs either toward you or others or see or experience violence based on sexual orientation? Feel free to give examples. It upsets me. I try to laugh the slurs off because there is always worse. As for violence, I feel it shouldn't happen, but it happens anyway. If you need to punch be because of my sexual orientation, then why are you around me? How did you feel with the Department of Justice announced that LBGTQ was not a protected class under the Civil Rights Act? I find it annoying because they use that as an excuse to get rid of me. It is sad that people feel like just because I am gay, I can't do a good job. I have turned away from my family, friends and church because of losing trust. How do you feel when someone offers you support?
Very happy. That is a good thing for them to do, but I still don't trust people in general. I have turned away from my family, friends and church because of losing trust. How do you feel about the silencing of LGBTQ voices in schools or in the worklplace? If you silence us now, when we are trying to fight for our rights, how do you expect us to fight for yours? Teaching kids to be quiet now, how do you expect them to speak for issues that are even bigger? How do you respond to "love the sinner, hate the sin?" I laugh at that. It is the logic that you love me, but you don't really love me. "I love you, but I don't like that you walk across the street without my permission." What did the election of Trump mean to you? Did you take a message from that? It is what certain people wanted. I do my best to be a good citizen, but there are times when you have to act. All I can do is do my best to play a good part. I don't support him, but I don't hate. If you hate, it is like letting someone live in your mind. What did the election of Doug Jones mean to you? Did you take a message from that? My vote counted. Alabama isn't as one-way thinking as I thought it was. What is your biggest fear? It is how I am going to get through my entire life and know what it means to be myself. Dying tomorrow and not being okay with my entire life. What is you greatest hope? That we change in a good direction. That the change won't be something we regret. Trump is turning America in two directions. It could be great, or it could be something we can't recover from. Please feel free to discuss anything in this space that you feel is important. Lincoln said that a house divided against each other can not stand. I hope whatever comes encourages people to do more with themselves. We are going to stay in one place until the place we are in becomes too uncomfortable for us. Trump is causing a bigger change because before, people were complacent. We are seeing a lot of the bad, but before it was just a band aid covering that bad. Now racism and homophobia are out for us to see. And when the time comes, we will remove it. Let it come the surface so we can see what it is. “Places where it is accepted are a paradise for us because we can be who we are. This is the first interview in the series of anonymous interviews with people who are LGBTQ and either are youth in Alabama or adults who experienced their youth in Alabama. This is a young man, we will call him Andrew, who grew up in Alabama and did not come out until after he graduated high school. He has some regrets about waiting to come out, but he has generally had a good experience. He is supported by his family. The thing that stuck me about this interview is that this young man is a faith-filled and faithful member of his Catholic Church. And because he does not want to risk rejection there he makes a “personal sacrifice” to keep his homosexual status hidden. Even though his experience has been good and his family supports him, Andrew’s biggest fear is still the fear of rejection. He has experienced bigotry. There are places where he still feels that he cannot fully be himself – and when one feels forced to deny themselves, there is a sense of loss in who you are and a lack of peace that you are okay with being who you are in the world. Please read this and answer the question: could this be my child? Am I the parent who will love my child and the children of our state unconditionally? Do you create a paradise of acceptance for the children in our community? Meet Andrew How long have you or did you live in South Alabama? I lived in Mobile until 2011, then moved to Baldwin County and attended private school. How do you identify? Homosexual Are you out? Yes If yes, how out? i.e. just family, just friends, inner circle, loud and proud, activist, etc. I am out to friends and close family. Not as much to extended family. On my father's side, it's much easier and more extended family knows. On my mother's side, they are very conservative and traditional and it doesn't come up as much. I am out at college. How old were you when you came out? 17 “Where is the love from those parents who don't support their kids and promote equal rights?" Tell me about your coming out experience? People would ask if I had a girlfriend at holidays and events. I obviously didn't. I never got angry over the question. It became more evident as school dances came up. I was not a trailblazer - I never asked a guy to a dance, and I regret that. Our culture is not there yet in South Alabama. My story is plain and dry. It somehow or another came up more matter of factly to my parents. They were not necessarily surprised, or maybe they were surprised, but there was a sense of understanding. They have different politics from me but love me for who I am. They definitely believe in equal rights and protection and the right for me to marry. When it's your child, there is no choice. Where is the love from those parents who don't support their kids and promote equal rights? If you are not out or are partially out, what is holding you back? What is your biggest fear of being out? I’m not being out to everyone - I think perhaps it’s a fear of judgment. I think there are many like me who want to prove they can be a functional member of society. I have family members who do believe we are sub-members of society. To muster up the courage to be out with these family members, I haven't gotten there yet. There is an internal debate about how to have those conversations. How did you feel when you came out? It was interesting. It was a feeling of relief and also a feeling of mounted stress because there is that moment of hesitation when the person you tell is processing. It is awkward, but at the same time it's said and done and it's the truth and there is nothing to do about it. You just need five seconds of courage, and then after the hesitation, it's alright, okay. I never thought about fear for my physical safety in coming out. Fear of verbal abuse was definitely something I thought about. If I saw a protest on a street, I would absolutely consider precautions for my physical safety. Places where it is accepted are a paradise for us because we can be who we are. What were the determining factors in your decision to come out? What was the process you went through to come to that decision? Being fed up with not being out. When I was 17, there was a lot of interesting energy in the political scene. As the intensity grew, I felt it was time to be honest. Donald Trump has exacerbated anger toward the Republican Party. Initially he said he would be the most supportive LGBT president ever. And then he didn't get it or care about people not like him. I'm center left, but it's hard to be middle of the road on something like that. How old were you when you knew you were LGBTQ? Describe what you knew and when. I had feelings for the same sex since I was about 7 or so. I knew for certain by 7th grade. Because I was hospitalized at age 10, and then my parents got divorced and we moved, and then the absence of my dad, I never thought of who I was. For a long time I didn't know what to do. In the 7th grade you are more worried about friends, and I didn't have a context for experience - it was more foggy. It became more clear later. My first reaction was disappointment. I come from a very Red background. I was in denial. It was not a peaceful moment. How did you feel about yourself when you identified yourself as LGBTQ? My first reaction was disappointment. I come from a very Red background. I was in denial. It was not a peaceful moment. I covered until I was 15 or 16 by going out with girls, and even older girls. It didn't feel right. There was nothing there. It's just not who I am. The world around me said I should be straight, but it is just not who I am. How were you raised to view the LGBTQ community? I was raised in a Red area that was very anti-LGBTQ, but I was never taught hate. You can't change the minds of people in a moment. You just have to live your life and be who you are and let people see your truth. I do remember when I was younger hearing my parents say it was not normal and the Bible didn't approve. I don't have much experience with same sex relationships. I wish I did, but it feels good to figure out how things are for me. College is a clean slate - I am out and I feel liberation. “Did I play it too safe? Do too much harm to myself?" What is your perspective of people's view of LGBTQ people in school? In school I heard everything from "I wish I could shoot them. I wish they would burn in hell. I wish we could get rid of them because they can't reproduce anyway." They weren't all like that, there are some who are progressive. By graduation, it seemed like fewer cared about it. I do feel like I would have been a better leader and more honest if I had been out in high school. Did I play it too safe? Do too much harm to myself? My school was conservative - not friendly to people outside the traditional landscape, and that was something I struggled with. I was a leader in school, but I took a bullet and did not feel it was the time or the place. I have some regret about that. I was not out until post high school graduation. In the community? I would say older generations, 65 plus are definitely black and white on the issue. It is one man, one woman. Decreasing generations are more tolerant, but many adults still hold pretty negative opinions. In Alabama? Urban areas seem more comfortable with others living their lives. Birmingham seems to be its own enclave of tolerance. “Still, it is one thing to have human rights and another to respect them. In the country? When Obama was in office, it seems there was a trend toward basic human rights with LGBTQ being respected with the exception of transgender. With the current administration (Trump), we are seeing the government is more willing to take away rights than protect them. Still, it is one thing to have human rights and another to respect them. “I have heard "faggot," "manwhore," etc. Have you experienced bigotry? When, where, and describe? Oh, yes. Most commonly it is more passive. People making fun of gays because of their orientation or making fun of their sexual interactions or asking inappropriate questions. I have heard "faggot," "manwhore," etc. If you have experienced bigotry, how did you handle it and how did it make you feel? When I was younger, it bothered me a lot. I guess people could see the tendencies in me and jumped on it when I couldn't find the courage to be out. And they still jumped on me. Have you experienced depression? No Have you experienced suicidal thoughts or attempts? No Where do you find support? Faith and in college. Friends and family that I trust. I go on walks, I cook, I meditate and pray. What do you want for your life? Please use details - family, career, etc. Eventually to get married and have kids to call my own. To graduate college and find an interesting job. Maybe to work in the public sector, maybe elected position. I want a life where I am comfortable with whom I am living, with a solid partner in my husband, with kids I can be proud of . To have a normal, comfortable life. I have not closed a door on coming back to the South, but I have other options as well. Do you want to get married? Yes Have kids? Yes How do you feel when you hear homophobic slurs either toward you or others or see or experience violence based on sexual orientation? Feel free to give examples. I just want to say, "hey, please don't say that. That's not cool." Often, when you look someone in the eye and mean it, they get the point. I would teach respect by example. How did you feel with the Department of Justice announced that LBGTQ was not a protected class under the Civil Rights Act? That was perhaps the biggest setback. It was a massive setback. How do you feel when someone offers you support? It's relieving. It's comforting. It's someone sharing their heart with yours. It's love - someone caring about you enough to share their heart and offer support. “The point of being free is that it is for everyone, not just straight, white, Christians. It's for everyone - Jews, Muslims, Blacks, LGBTQ, Silencing them for being who they are is reprehensible to me. How do you feel about the silencing of LGBTQ voices in schools or in the workplace?
It's deplorable. I don't see a more blatant offense against the first amendment of voices that are protected by the constitution. It is beyond offensive that people have the nerve to do that, especially in the LGBT conversation. The defense is always that they are on the right side. That it is a matter of religious freedom, but you can't limit that to only what you believe. The point of being free is that it is for everyone, not just straight, white, Christians. It's for everyone - Jews, Muslims, Blacks, LGBTQ, Silencing them for being who they are is reprehensible to me. How do you respond to "love the sinner, hate the sin?" I feel like it is that way with friends and family, some still ingrained with hate - it's what they do. What did the election of Trump mean to you? Did you take a message from that? When watching the returns with 2 friends who supported Trump, sitting in the living room, thinking of all the things we heard him say - I went to two rallies - I thought about "lock'em up" and "build the wall" with Republicans controlling Congress and having Supreme Court nominations, I thought, "What does this all mean?" I was not anticipating that Trump would win. I haven't really seen it as too big of a setback as he has been ineffective in policy. I believe it has left the US looking pretty badly. I don't think there will be a second term for him. What did the election of Doug Jones mean to you? Did you take a message from that? It was such a resounding message of hope. It was the same energy as Obama, a vivid moment. It was remarkable to see a man, who despite all the odds, won! What is your biggest fear? Well, roaches. Really. But after that, the fear of being rejected. What is you greatest hope? I have a lot of hope in people my own age - that we are in a time of defiance and disobedience and resistance toward bigotry and hate. I have hope that people will grow up in a world of more inclusivity and diversity. Eventually younger people will be in positions of power - power in the business world and in nonprofits and in government. They are more open to others' opinions.  The state of Alabama has had a lot of attention surrounding the LGBTQ community over the last year or two. From the affirmation of gay marriage by the Supreme Court and the subsequent denial of Roy Moore to follow that law to the election of Doug Jones over Moore, to the silencing of LGBT students in schools, to the racist and homophobic rap distributed on social media, the conversation has been heated and the opinions condemning. But there has been one thing missing from the conversation – HUMANITY. People are so sure they know what is right. They are so sure the have the moral high ground, that many times, the fact that you are discussing the lives of humans – and many who are young humans - is lost in the chaos. I want to tell the stories of these HUMANS. And in particular, the stories of these YOUNG HUMANS. In our area of the country, there are many, many LGBT youth who have chosen not to come out to their families or friends due to fear. There are many who struggle and feel alone and isolated. There are many who do come out only to realize those fears as reality. And there are those who come out to supportive families who still walk in fear at school, in the community and most offensively, at church, where love should be the answer to us all. Every. Single. Time. So I am beginning this as a series of anonymous stories of Humans who grew up in Alabama. Their understanding of themselves and their communities. Their fears, their hopes and their dreams. It is anonymous because these are my children. They are your children. They are all ours. And do you know if they are yours? Are you a safe space for your children, your family, your friends? Or are you someone to fear? These are their stories. I hope that by reading them, you will see a little bit more HUMANITY in them and learn to love not hate. Period. First, lets look at some statistics. Please look at the statistics. And while you do, imagine these numbers apply to your children. Imagine how it must feel to see these numbers about a child you love. Imagine. Feel. And then love. Stay tuned for the first in this series. And please help me show others our HUMANITY. These are the statistics LGBT Youth and Their Parents Face Each and Every Day. Think about that: |
Elizabeth DenhamAuthor, LGBTQ Advocate, Relationship Expert, Humorist, Advocate of Finding Your Voice Archives
September 2019
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