Where is Acceptance? Meet Carrie

Carrie's greatest hope? "That one day we will truly be treated equally."

This is the third interview in the series of anonymous interviews with people who are LGBTQ and either are youth in Alabama or adults who experienced their youth in Alabama.  This is a 37 year-old woman, we will call her Carrie, who grew up in Alabama. She has five children, four biological and one she adopted with her now wife. I will write something about the two of them together, but this is Carrie’s story.  She came out fully as a lesbian as an adult.  She identified as bisexual earlier.  While she is open and a strong LGBT+ supporter and advocate, she still struggles with bigotry and with raising her kids to be loved and accepted in a community that does not always support her life.  People are mean and words hurt and raising kids to be strong and resilient and  unafraid in a world that may condemn them for the actions of their mothers is no easy feat.  Yet Carrie teaches them, love them accepts them and empowers them.  Are you someone who will love and accept without condition?  Are you someone who will love kids regardless of their circumstances? Show them.  Leave  a comment after this post to support  Carrie and love her kids.
 
Meet Carrie
 
How long have you or did you live in South Alabama? *
I’ve lived in Alabama all my life.

How do you identify? 
Lesbian/Gay

Are you out? 
Yes
 
If yes, how out? i.e. just family, just friends, inner circle, loud and proud, activist, etc.
LGBT Activist

How old were you when you came out?
I was bisexual for 14 years before transitioning to the Lesbian lifestyle with my wife of 10 years.

My coming out experience was hurtful.

Tell me about your coming out experience?
My coming out experience was hurtful, I was good at hiding my bisexuality until me & a close friend had an argument and she told people I was gay.

​My biggest fear of being out is HATE crimes.

If you are not out or are partially out, what is holding you back? What is your biggest fear of being out?
My biggest fear of being out is HATE crimes.

How did you feel when you came out?
When I came out I felt misunderstood & unaccepted.

What were the determining factors in your decision to come out? What was the process you went through to come to that decision?
My biggest factor was overcoming my identity crisis, being tired of living two different lives as a bisexual individual when I loved women more. I couldn't be who the world, family & friends wanted me to be, I needed to be who I really was.

How old were you when you knew you were LGBTQ? Describe what you knew and when.
I was 5 years old. I dreamed of women, played house with girls and would enjoy it more than the average little girl. I had the biggest crush on a teacher that was a female. Then I knew I was different.

​Honestly, I ask myself why do I have to identify myself as LGBTQ. Why can't I just be ME?
How were you raised to view the LGBTQ community?

How did you feel about yourself when you identified yourself as LGBTQ?
Honestly, I ask myself why do I have to identify myself as LGBTQ. Why can't I just be ME?

How were you raised to view the LGBTQ community?
I was raised to know that any individual of the LGBTQ community was a sinner and going to hell.

What is your perspective of people's view of LGBTQ people in school?
My perspective is give them all equal opportunities everywhere, especially school. We shouldn't have to feel less equal than anyone else.

In the community?
In the community it's sad to say, we, as the community, do more judging towards each other than society. It's very segregated; no one really hangs together. It's either the males or females, the Trans or the Queens & Queers. This is the main reason why I say the titles, LGBTQ, are a really big issue.

Alabama is the South & we struggle with racist issues to this day. So accepting a sexuality you don't understand is definitely out the question.

In Alabama?
Alabama is the South & we struggle with racist issues to this day. So accepting a sexuality you don't understand is definitely out the question.

In the country?
The Country is known to be the FREE land but we all know that's not true.

In church?
I'm upset at how many true Christians aren't in the church. The Bible clearly says: Love Thy Neighbor. Yet so many LGBTQ individuals aren't loved. So many Christians judge, yet the Bible clearly says not too. So to me Church is clearly a facility full of individuals who need somewhere to go on Sundays because LOVE isn't amongst our Churches any more. How can you LOVE God but HATE your neighbor?

Have you experienced bigotry? When, where, and describe?
Yes, all the time, since I am a mother of 5. Individuals always question my sexuality because I have birthed multiple, beautiful children. Saying: you’re not gay, what happened to you to make you this way? Was it from relationship hurt and more? And it's funny because the questions usually come from guys rather than females.

If you have experienced bigotry, how did you handle it and how did it make you feel?
Depending on the subject. I'm an individual who loves a good debate, but one thing I don’t want to argue about is Spirituality & Christianity because my relationship with God doesn't need proving.

Have you experienced depression?
Yes
 
Have you experienced suicidal thoughts or attempts?
Yes
 
Where do you find support?
Free2Be is a new great source and I have mentors within the community who I call my parents.

What do you want for your life? Please use details - family, career, etc.
I want to further my career writing, spreading awareness & speaking for people who haven't found their voice yet in the LGBTQ community.

Do you want to get married?
I'm married: Holy Union 2012; Legally 2015
Have kids?
I have 5. I birthed 4 & me and my wife adopted 1.

Every time I hear a homophobic slur, a piece of me wants to scream. ​

How do you feel when you hear homophobic slurs either toward you or others or see or experience violence based on sexual orientation? Feel free to give examples.
Every time I hear a homophobic slur, a piece of me wants to scream. Depending on the place, time & who made the comment I will give my thoughts. Some things are better left unsaid because I would never want to put myself or people around me in danger going back and forth with someone who is homophobic.

How did you feel with the Department of Justice announced that LBGTQ was not a protected class under the Civil Rights Act?
I felt crushed because once again, we are snatched from our rights as humans.

How do you feel when someone offers you support?
I feel good about support.

How do you feel about the silencing of LGBTQ voices in schools or in the workplace?
I'm against it because I have a slogan. I say: " Silence will never be Heard." This is a way to shut up voices that matter.

How do you respond to "love the sinner, hate the sin?"
If you Hate the sin...you Hate the person. Hate shouldn't be an action of a Christian period.

The election truly damaged me as an LGBTQ/BLACK/FEMALE individual in so many aspects.

What did the election of Trump mean to you? Did you take a message from that?
The election truly damaged me as an LGBTQ/BLACK/FEMALE individual in so many aspects.

What did the election of Doug Jones mean to you? Did you take a message from that?
No honestly.

What is your biggest fear?
Hate Crimes. Dying because of who I choose to love.

What is you greatest hope?
That one day we will truly be treated equally.